Gratitude Friday...

All the Christmas gifts are wrapped.  Cookies baked and given away.  Although, truthfully, I likely ate more than I gave away.  Snacks are purchased and packed for our road trip home.  Christmas dresses and bows ready to be packed in a hot pink suit case.  And there is one remaining episode of "Call the Midwife" which  I've been watching while wrapping presents and rolling approximately 10 million rosettes.

I've also been standing while making those precious rosettes so my knee is just loving me these days (sarcasm font).

And it's possible I might be speaking a little more 1950's British than current day.  Frightfully exciting, really.

This Christmas season has been a whirlwind for me.  A mixture of exhaustion, tension from The Reckoning and the business of preparations.  I found myself getting frustrated.

At me.

The kids have been wonderful.  Just the perfect mix of excitement, anticipation and joy.  Well, except for Rhys falling asleep during our night out looking at Christmas lights.  But I blame his stubborn determination to avoid a nap.  Apart from that, they've loved every second.  Ornaments, gift wrap, giving gifts, making cards, planning the trip home...pretty much every part has been awesome for them.

Not entirely sure why this year has been so much for me.

But I know this...I am incredibly grateful for our quiet little life.  And our program-free church.

Every picture of Christmas programs and kids in their smocked dresses and john-johns and all the delightfully decorated cookies painted by little hands and rides on the Polar Express or at the local church's live nativity and company Christmas parties in fancy dresses and suits...all of them have been beautiful.

For a few days there, I found my heart lost it's joy seeing it all.  We have none of that.  There are no Christmas programs at church or live nativity.  We don't even decorate a tree or put up one single light.  Chris' colleagues don't throw a Christmas party for themselves.  They're grateful to have a break.  Not looking for additional stuff to fill up their scarce free-time.  Aubrey Kate was a doll helping me decorate cookies but her brother only complained because NO ICING, MOMMA.

But then my Father started whispering to me.  Pointing out the things I was missing by watching everyone else's life on social media.  

It was an odd event for me.  I'm not prone to comparison.  Not typical for me to see something and wish it for myself.  I dealt with that in great detail and with great pain years ago waiting for a child.  

I'm human though and so, yes, every now and again, I find myself being taken in by the evil game of comparison.  

Truth is without all those events, even church events, I had more time to spend making those rosettes.  More time to decorate cookies.  More time to search for affordable gifts for my family.  More time to hand deliver the cookies I managed not to eat to some people I often neglect.  More time to spend time with Chris when he was home.  More time to see all the traditional Christmas shows through the joy in my kids eyes.  

This season was not at all hurried for me.  The pressure I felt was only self-imposed.  The expectations I put out there had nothing to do with what anyone else expected of me.  

My kids have been giddy.  They've loved handing out boxes of cookies.  Adored watching packages pile up under the tree.  Made an outrageous mess making gift tags and jewelry to give to family.  Chris even thanked me for all my hard work and I'll tell you right now, that's a gift I will always cherish.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me how perfectly placed I am right now.  Quiet, monumentally un-busy and able to take the time to create things with my own hands.  Good stuff.  Remind me again when I forget how blessed I am to be exactly where I am.

Merry Christmas, y'all!