So Chris Smoked a Pork Roast Today...

For many reasons, which I will, of course, provide in list form, that statement is huge.

1.  Chris, in his own manly way, cooked.  

The man is not a cook.  His mother says she tried to encourage him to learn his way around a kitchen but he never seemed interested.  Which is not at all surprising since, for the most part, he's not all that interested in food (also to be filled under the HUGE STATEMENT heading).  He eats when he starts to feel faint.  Or gets a headache.  Or he sits down near food.  And honestly, that's not horribly often during his work day.  

So for the most part, and because he's only home three days out of any given month, I do 98% of the cooking/grilling/baking.  I'll give him the 2% since he does fry some mean bacon.  The smoking of a pork roast upped his percentage this month to a good 95%.  Impressive.

2.  The entire house, and half a block surrounding our house, smells of smoke.  

Smoking something takes a long time.  Our wee little roast took four hours.  During which he went in and out checking on the process every 15 minutes.  

Now our "back" door is actually a side door which opens to a HUGE six foot wide alley to the back yard.  Yes, six feet.  Just over that fence is our neighbor's six foot alley way.  Property taxes in Texas, y'all.  They are the real deal.  

Anyway, I truly do not understand how such an enormous amount of smoke managed to get into my house.  But I CANNOT stand the smell of smoke.  

Not that long ago, Chris came home at 2:00 am from a bonfire at the head director's house.  It was after some sort of summer rehearsal.  Or maybe a football game.  Doesn't really matter.  So in he comes, all smokey, and climbs into bed.  The smell alone WOKE ME UP.  And I continued to lie there for the rest of the night TRYING to go back to sleep.  Took me a month to get the smell out of our room.

So tonight, once smoking was complete, I made him strip down next to the laundry room and head straight to the shower.  

His clothes, along with mine and the kids, are currently washing.

3.  His left big toe is crushed.

Okay, so right now you're thinking, "WHAT?"  

This is the biggie.  Monday, while at work and through no fault of his own, a counter weight fell from a spot it should just never be right onto his left big toe.  When he came home and I just happened to notice he was both limping and wincing with every step, I was curious.  

Not like wildly curious because I was on my way out the door to do some very necessary grocery shopping and nap time is a ridiculously limited amount of time.  

But it peaked my interest.

The toe didn't look all that bad.  At first.  Well, except for the blood seeping through his sock.  He was able to wiggle it.  Just a little bit.  (Could. Not. Resist.)

But by that afternoon, it was too swollen to move and turning all kinds of gray.

He called all the people we know in the medical field.  Which was two whole people.  Both gave the same general advice.  The second one, the person who lives in our city (which is important to the next part), suggested he get an X-ray, just in case, and said he'd look at it.  (It would have been super inconvenient to drive to Alabama for an X-ray)

So he did.

Paul called just after lunch.  

Toe.  Crushed.

Four to five bone FRAGMENTS in there.

Best go see someone.  Like an orthopedic doctor.

So for the last couple of days, he's been pretty confined to the couch.  The toe, and his ENTIRE FOOT, have continued to amaze us with it's brilliant colors of gray and purple.  

There's hope tomorrow he'll be able to go see a primary doctor and then go see an orthopedic doctor, who won't take the pediatric nurse practitioner's diagnosis.  Weird.  And then, FINGERS CROSSED, he'll know what'll happen.  Surgery?  Boot?  Wife going insane?  

That last one is just a joke.

Sort of.

So just him getting up every 15 minutes to WALK is huge.  

Walking down our six-foot wide alley way to the backyard every 15 minutes to check on something the man who doesn't cook was actually cooking all on a crushed toe is CRAZINESS.

Well, Hello 2014.  What else you got planned?  We're just on pins and needles waiting to find out.  Really.