Gratitude Friday...

In addition to the crushed toe, we have a sick toddler running...or rather being carried...around the house.  We are past the worst of it.  Fever.  Coughing.  Runny nose.  But the fussiness continues.  

This morning, Rhys woke me up around 6:45 am.  He usually wakes up and plays almost silently for 10-15 minutes before he starts chatting.  So that's super early for him to wake up.  

And me.

Our normal morning routine is breakfast, getting dressed and going to the gym.  All that takes about two hours.  Rhys and I are usually fed and dressed before AK wakes up.  Without a nap, Pumpkin sleeps 12 full hours.  When she gets up, she eats, gets dressed and we're out the door.

We get home 90 minutes to two hours later (depending on how much chocolate I plan/require for the day and if we have to run an errand).  Then lunch and a movie while I take a shower.  Rhys will generally play on his own for those 10 minutes.  

But not anymore.

I can only assume the cold went to Rhys' head and, somehow, AK's head as well making what little rational thinking there is in a three year's brain completely non-existent.  

Because when I heard Rhys crying yesterday while I was in the shower, I called AK into the bathroom to ask her what was going on.  Her exact words, "He's in the living room crying."  

"Is he okay?"  

"Yes."  

"So why is he crying?"  

"I don't know."  

"Awesome."

I got out of the shower quickly.  Ran into the living room still damp and found...

...RHYS SITTING ON TOP OF THE KITCHEN TABLE.

For real.

In what way is THAT "okay?"

So taking a shower while they are awake is no longer an option.  

However, I am grateful he didn't try to get down.  Heaven help.

I tell you that story to, one, make sure I confess how many stupid decisions I make as a mom and two, to tell you that I was not in the best of moods today after lunch when I was still wet with sweat and carrying around the royally fussy, snotty, over-tired toddler.  

After trying to entertain/distract/keep him from crying for 20 minutes, I gave in and opted for some snuggles and his milk.  Which is the sleep trigger.  He was asleep in my lap, with the sippy cup straw still in his mouth, a full 45 minutes before his official nap time.

I put him down, took a shower while AK continued to sit mesmerized watching her movie and cleaned up lunch.  

About five minutes after I got AK settled down for her quiet time, Rhys woke up.  That was only an hour of sleep.

I was not at all happy.  The bad mood from sitting sweaty and cold for a couple of hours did not magically wash away in the shower.  Some days it might have.  But not today.

Thirty minutes, a clean diaper and multiple attempts to put him back down, I gave in and we settled down into the chair in his nursery.  Only took him about two minutes to fall asleep.  

We stayed there for 90 more minutes.  I slept some.  He was snoring and drooling snot all over my shirt.  My mind was working overtime on my To Do List.  All the while, my heart was trying to soak in the moment.  

I would look down at his precious face.  Those amazing long eye lashes.  The way his white hair falls to the side of his forehead.  His gorgeous heart-shaped lips, just like his dad.  His chubby hands gripping Froggy for dear life.  

But I struggled to quiet my mind.  To let go of my own weariness.  Release my own agenda.  

In spite of myself though, I stayed.  I did what was best for my exhausted, sick little guy.  Like a zillion other moms who struggle each day to give, give, give and give some more.  And now, sitting here tonight with my To Do List still growing, I am able to see the beauty of those moments.  I may not have been able to appreciate it then but I can now.  

Grateful.