Gratitude Friday...

It is Wednesday morning but I need to write this down before I forget.

Had a very vivid dream last night.

I know.  You're already on the edge of your seat.

Probably should preface this with a tidbit of information.  We went to bed after discussing the John Edwards trial.  I am utterly and completely transfixed by the entire story.  Have been since the assistant, Andrew, came out with his book and did the pre-release 20/20 interview.  

Fascinating.

Considering there is almost nothing about politics that interests me, Chris is baffled by my interest in this.  I was attempting to explain how unbelievable it is to me both these men did so much in the pursuit of power.  Not to mention the spot where Andrew reached the end of his unethical rope and refused to participate any longer.  

Why then?  

Needless to say, I suspect this topic was just floating around my brain as I fell asleep last night.

That topic formed a dream about hell.  

Certainly not the hell we all envision.  No lakes of fire.  No pitchfork toting devils.  Nothing but the continued pursuit of our earthly lives.

Met a group of people trying to find the perfect pair of jeans.  They kept shopping and shopping and even though they thought they had found the pair to end the search, they hadn't.  One lady I watched pull a pair of acid washed overalls out of her shopping bad.  That's not exactly what she thought she'd purchased.  Unsatisfied once again, she had to go back out shopping.  

Some might have found that funny but women, we know how so not funny jeans are.

I met people seeking power.  There were a great many of them.  Mostly men although I did see some women attending the meeting.  (I know, right?  There were meetings.  At churches.  Cannot make that up.)  People were taking sides and whispering in corners planning their take over of whoever was considered the most powerful.  Some managed to stay in power for hundreds of years but others only 50 or so.   

Met a women attempting to keep all the files of all the people in hell organized.  Her files helped me figure out who held the power and who used to have control over it.  She knew everyone and everything about everyone.  But she was overwhelmed with the constant changes.  So and so used to be in charge of such and such so that file was over on these shelves.  But unexpectedly, a new so and so was in charge and the files had to be updated again.  Her task was never complete and always frustrating.  

I'm certain if the dream had continued I would have met people stuck pursuing physical perfection spending hours and hours exercising and counting calories.  People trying every new get rich quick opportunity.  The list could go on forever, couldn't it?

I woke up thinking through each detail of the dream.  Stood in the shower watching flashes in my head of the people I had met.  Realized, I had probably spent too many hours searching for the perfect pair of jeans myself.  Which just made me laugh since I now own jeans in four different sizes and all the same general style.  At last count, there were about 12 pairs.  Of which I only wore 3.  Maybe.  

But slowly felt the Holy Spirit asking me, What would be your hell?  

I'm not really sure I could narrow it down.  What do I spend my life pursuing instead of Christ?  Because that's what was missing.  Without Christ, there was nothing else to pursue but the sin we were trapped in during our earthly life.  Always searching but never fulfilling.  

If I'm honest, there are lots of days I pursue the creation of a "perfect" life.  Afraid to admit my failings, constantly reminding myself how blessed I am to have this life and yet keeping my day dreams of going back to work a secret.  We are searching for a church and let's be real, we are in a constant state of asking ourselves if we are searching for something we think we need verses where God needs us to be. And straight up, I spent hours searching for the perfect outfits for last weekend's celebrations.  Day dreaming about the perfect family photos.  Too bad the weather had different plans (don't ya just hate it when God reminds you He's in control, not you?).  

I suspect I'll spend the rest of the day, probably the week and who knows how much longer thinking through the Holy Spirit's question for me.  I am grateful for the dream and for the Holy Spirit's guiding. Not sure where this search will end but I know I've got some work to do.

So I'll turn the question over to you.  What are you pursuing instead of Christ?  Is it something which appears to be good but has become your master?  Did you even realize it had taken first place in your life?