Gratitude Friday…

I had a whole post written for today but after my doctor’s appointment this morning, I re-wrote it. Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. I moved on to my regular OB and had my first appointment with him scheduled for today. He likes to see patients between 8 – 10 weeks and I’m at the end of that time frame. I was expecting to give some blood, have my blood pressure checked and be patted on the head with instructions about what not to eat.

Instead I was forced to have a pap smear.

And by forced I mean I was told I had no choice and it was going to happen. I cried when they told me I absolutely had to have it, cried when I was arguing with the doctor about how I did not want to do anything to jeopardized this miracle pregnancy we’d waited years for and then cried while the nurse put my feet in the stirrups and the doctor told me to hush up now.

It took me a while to pull myself together enough for the sonogram which was so blurry and would have been totally worthless except for the heartbeat. It was at 140 which is still normal but far less than was it was Monday. Not surprising since I was so upset. I’m certain that affects the baby.

He then said my next sonogram would be between 18 – 20 weeks to determine the sex and that it would be my last sonogram. I assured him I’d already called my insurance company and there was no limit. Well, that’s not entirely true. I have a lifetime limit of 2 million but I suspect I won’t hit that number. He just said we’ll see. Yes, we will. And after being forced to endure a procedure I did not approve, we’ll be having as many sonograms as I deem necessary.

Now I’m sitting here cramping, nauseous and praying fervently there will not be any spotting. Pap smears for some women must be a piece of cake but they have always been painful, bloody, crampy messes for me.

Dr. Google says a pap smear is normal pre-natal care during pregnancy. There’s no risk of miscarriage and most doctors will insist. That, for me, is an understatement.

I would have been fine had I known in advance so I could have researched and been prepared. I’m not a big fan of surprise procedures that involve scraping stuff out from inside of me.

So I am grateful there has not been any spotting so far.

I’m grateful Dr. Google can provide me with some guidance albeit post-procedure.

I’m grateful Chris was just as appalled and upset as I was (it’s just nice when he doesn’t think I’m crazy).

And I’m grateful Stephanie says she felt the same way and was equally fearful.

Now I’m going to order my dobbler (which thankfully my insane doctor said he would approve) so at the very least I can listen to E’s heartbeat any time without the fear of unexpected procedures.