Well, let's just say I've been a little busy this week. I'm desperately behind on my blog reading and my mind is complete mush with nothing exciting to write about. I will say that hello, Kris is awesome on AI. And I can't stand that song. Seriously, its a dial turner for me. But watching him last night I was like Puss in Boots from Shrek. You know, where he tries to look all cute and cuddly with hat in hand and big, soft eyes. Yeah, he totally had me at "she works hard for it, honey". Since that's the only thought I can muster, I'm posting a snippet from my IVF journal. It's one of my favorite stories. Enjoy…
I am ridiculously grateful my doctor’s office is close to my office. I’ve clocked it and from my desk to the waiting room is 20 minutes. Considering I have to maneuver through 2 parking garages and the slowest elevator ever created in the doctor’s building, that is outstanding.
Good thing since I’ve been there every morning this week.
My arm is rather bruised. As is my tummy. I am so hot. Really, I don’t know how Chris has managed to keep himself off of me.
Monday was pretty much in and out, everything looks fine appointment.
Tuesday though was a different story. They’ve just gotten a new ultrasound machine. That means Michelle is learning how to use it. She asked if I minded the ultrasound tech being in the room to teach her. I said, of course not, the more the merrier.
So the first thing he does is say, See that. Her bladder is full and altering the view of the uterus.
And I say, but I don’t need to go to the bathroom, I swear.
He says, move the wand up a little.
Um, hello, now I do.
Michelle apologizes but now all I can think is holy moly I have to pee.
Then the best part: the computer freezes and wants to measure my follicles as cysts. Seriously. Been there. Done that. Let’s not.
Then the other IVF coordinator comes in to watch and learn. That’s 3 people now watching my uterus and my ovaries, LuLu & Rita and the new, larger screen.
Fabulous.
Then a knock.
In comes the doctor. He is not the best with the wand. I’m guessing that’s because no one has shoved it up his penis to look at his intestines. I promise if that were to happen he would be much gentler.
Now not only do I have to pee but Dr. K is poking around like he’s stoking a fire.
Another knock.
Well sure. Come on in.
This time it’s Chris. He got away from work and decided to come.
Okay, so for those of you who’ve lost count, that’s 5 people in this room about the size of a guest bathroom where I am naked from the waist down, covered only in a paper sheet, with a 12 inch camera in my who-ha while everyone watches my uterus, ovaries and comments of their status.
Hello uncomfortable.
All that to finally determine, wait for it… I have to come back the next day.
I am ridiculously grateful my doctor’s office is close to my office. I’ve clocked it and from my desk to the waiting room is 20 minutes. Considering I have to maneuver through 2 parking garages and the slowest elevator ever created in the doctor’s building, that is outstanding.
Good thing since I’ve been there every morning this week.
My arm is rather bruised. As is my tummy. I am so hot. Really, I don’t know how Chris has managed to keep himself off of me.
Monday was pretty much in and out, everything looks fine appointment.
Tuesday though was a different story. They’ve just gotten a new ultrasound machine. That means Michelle is learning how to use it. She asked if I minded the ultrasound tech being in the room to teach her. I said, of course not, the more the merrier.
So the first thing he does is say, See that. Her bladder is full and altering the view of the uterus.
And I say, but I don’t need to go to the bathroom, I swear.
He says, move the wand up a little.
Um, hello, now I do.
Michelle apologizes but now all I can think is holy moly I have to pee.
Then the best part: the computer freezes and wants to measure my follicles as cysts. Seriously. Been there. Done that. Let’s not.
Then the other IVF coordinator comes in to watch and learn. That’s 3 people now watching my uterus and my ovaries, LuLu & Rita and the new, larger screen.
Fabulous.
Then a knock.
In comes the doctor. He is not the best with the wand. I’m guessing that’s because no one has shoved it up his penis to look at his intestines. I promise if that were to happen he would be much gentler.
Now not only do I have to pee but Dr. K is poking around like he’s stoking a fire.
Another knock.
Well sure. Come on in.
This time it’s Chris. He got away from work and decided to come.
Okay, so for those of you who’ve lost count, that’s 5 people in this room about the size of a guest bathroom where I am naked from the waist down, covered only in a paper sheet, with a 12 inch camera in my who-ha while everyone watches my uterus, ovaries and comments of their status.
Hello uncomfortable.
All that to finally determine, wait for it… I have to come back the next day.
Where was my invitation to the ovary party hmmmmmmm? I love ovary parties. I guess it got lost in the mail.
ReplyDeleteLove it...I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants...and I agree Kris is amazing!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, that was really funny, although I'm sure it didn't seem funny to you! Sounds like you took the embarrassment like a champ though.
ReplyDelete