Well, y'all. The computer has been returned to me. And I thought it would be a joyous moment but, mixed in with the joy (because, seriously), there is a bit of anxiety.
I am six months behind here.
And the amount of "stuff" I need to process is way further behind than that.
It all feels like A BIT MUCH.
That, A BIT MUCH, is actually an excellent description for how life has been feeling these last several months. Starting with my boss's sudden death the beginning of March and leading all the way up until...like NOW...our world has been just in hang-on-for-dear-life kind of survival level. Things came and without much chance for processing or recovery, something else came too and...I just hung on.
Spring has been had it's own brand of craziness for the past several years. But certainly the past two. One where we moved and the next where we were hoping we would be moving. Again.
It all feels like A BIT MUCH.
That, A BIT MUCH, is actually an excellent description for how life has been feeling these last several months. Starting with my boss's sudden death the beginning of March and leading all the way up until...like NOW...our world has been just in hang-on-for-dear-life kind of survival level. Things came and without much chance for processing or recovery, something else came too and...I just hung on.
Spring has been had it's own brand of craziness for the past several years. But certainly the past two. One where we moved and the next where we were hoping we would be moving. Again.
But buzzing around me, coming from every direction, is the word "reset."
Our church did a series by that name this summer. My favorite podcaster mentioned it at an event this weekend. Another podcaster said it in her podcast I listened to this morning. My precious friend used it to describe what she felt like an upcoming change in her life would bring. And so, reset. It's swirling around me and there is no denying, we are in a full-blown season of just that.
As I was processing "reset" and this season, I concluded almost every area of our life is experiencing it. Whether I realized it or not. God was clearly pointing it out. Unfortunately, He has to send me the same message a zillion times for me to go, "Oh wait. That was for me. Right?"
Some areas, like technology in our newest world, are experiencing reset.
Our church did a series by that name this summer. My favorite podcaster mentioned it at an event this weekend. Another podcaster said it in her podcast I listened to this morning. My precious friend used it to describe what she felt like an upcoming change in her life would bring. And so, reset. It's swirling around me and there is no denying, we are in a full-blown season of just that.
As I was processing "reset" and this season, I concluded almost every area of our life is experiencing it. Whether I realized it or not. God was clearly pointing it out. Unfortunately, He has to send me the same message a zillion times for me to go, "Oh wait. That was for me. Right?"
Some areas, like technology in our newest world, are experiencing reset.
Such as the fact that the computer and my phone are not playing well together now. I connected them to get the photos off my phone and ZIPPO. I'm fairly certain there was some pop up notice about iTunes not recognizing my phone but, because I am quick but not smart, I hit ignore or okay or cancel and the message disappeared. For forever.
Chris will have to make them play nice tonight. Or Sunday. More likely Sunday.
The computer had to be used for Chris' new job as he waited for his equipment to be set up. We have certainly learned things on a college campus move at a much more pedestrian pace. For sure slower than my world in corporate American and even slower than public school pace. It's been eye-opening. Frustrating for Chris. Interesting for me. Since I didn't need a computer. Unlike Chris who actually needed a computer to do his job.
The computer had to be used for Chris' new job as he waited for his equipment to be set up. We have certainly learned things on a college campus move at a much more pedestrian pace. For sure slower than my world in corporate American and even slower than public school pace. It's been eye-opening. Frustrating for Chris. Interesting for me. Since I didn't need a computer. Unlike Chris who actually needed a computer to do his job.
Then there's a hard reset in my health.
I used to do this activity called "running." Or at the very least, I did some form of "exercise" more days than not. Packing up a house in record time and the whole 90 degrees by 9 am thing combined to keep me and my growing backside inside this summer. Packing boxes burns calories but not like running does. Plus, let's go ahead and talk about the eating out and overall JUNK we ate in the process. Honestly, I'm not stressing over the extra pounds. However, I do have clothes I would like to wear at some point. I can't live in the same five outfits forever.
Although, I've successfully done just that for two months.
But really, I need a reset on my diet and exercise. Not to be some photo shopped version of myself. But simply to be more healthy. God graciously gave us these bodies. I'm not interested in punishing it but I am going to need to be more aware of how kindly I am stewarding it.
(And because JEANS.)
Fall brings it's own process of "reset." Shows up every year. Almost like it's scheduled.
New classes for the kids. This year, whole new schools. New friends. New bible studies. New fall flowers for the front of the house. (And in our case, a whole new batch of flower beds.) (Again.) Chris has new students. New classes to teach. A new marching show to tackle.
There are new extracurricular activities. Like both kids taking gymnastics. Which is a whole thing in our house now. All the little people are in love with gymnastics. Meanwhile, I'm on the bleachers remembering how I never learned how to do a simple cartwheel. Because I decided early on in life there was little to no need for my bum to go OVER my head. Silliness.
Then there's the new environment we are now in.
There are new extracurricular activities. Like both kids taking gymnastics. Which is a whole thing in our house now. All the little people are in love with gymnastics. Meanwhile, I'm on the bleachers remembering how I never learned how to do a simple cartwheel. Because I decided early on in life there was little to no need for my bum to go OVER my head. Silliness.
Then there's the new environment we are now in.
The search for a new church, a new small group, a new local tribe, new doctors, new piano teacher, new antique stores to explore and thrift stores to pillage. Goodness, there's even a new house to decorate. A new yard to tame.
Our family is going through a "reset" too.
Gone are the 90 hour work weeks. Chris was home last Friday afternoon to walk with us for after school pick up. He's home at least two nights of the week and a whole lot more Saturdays. October will be busy with marching band stuff but, y'all, this new job has been life-changing for our family. The kids and I are getting to spend more time with Chris than we have in the last five years.
Gone are the 90 hour work weeks. Chris was home last Friday afternoon to walk with us for after school pick up. He's home at least two nights of the week and a whole lot more Saturdays. October will be busy with marching band stuff but, y'all, this new job has been life-changing for our family. The kids and I are getting to spend more time with Chris than we have in the last five years.
A big ole family "reset."
For me personally, I am getting to "reset" too.
Aubrey Kate is in full-time school and Rhys is in preschool five days a week. That has given me 25 hours a week. Twenty. Five. Hours. Obviously, I have a house to manage. Laundry and meals and cleaning. Managing a house is a task. And, believe it or not, I am finding it fulfilling all by itself in this season. After spending all of last year out of the house every day from 8 to 3, I am grateful to be able to be IN the house and able to do those tasks.
Aubrey Kate is in full-time school and Rhys is in preschool five days a week. That has given me 25 hours a week. Twenty. Five. Hours. Obviously, I have a house to manage. Laundry and meals and cleaning. Managing a house is a task. And, believe it or not, I am finding it fulfilling all by itself in this season. After spending all of last year out of the house every day from 8 to 3, I am grateful to be able to be IN the house and able to do those tasks.
But y'all know. I have some dreams too.
So my "reset" will be figuring out how to accomplish domestic and dreams in those 25 hours.
Plus getting back to a healthier place.
Of course, there's the spiritual "reset" too. Some of that comes in searching for a new church. It's physically and spiritually exhausting. Meeting new people is exhausting for me.
Listen, answering the simple, "Where are you from?" question is challenging.
Because, at this point, we're from nowhere and every where. The last city we lived in, we actually just slept in. We were still mostly "living" in the previous city. But saying we're "from" any of those is wrong. We are from Alabama. Except we haven't lived there in 16 years. And our kids are native Texans. So we're from no where. And Texas. At the same time.
Apart from the people and places, there's the listening for God's direction in this new season. I mean, clearly, He intends this to be a season of fresh starts. And I am ALL IN with that. But then what? I don't know.
I know my husband, my children and my home will continue to be my primary ministry. As much as I have resisted that label over the years. (Let's not forget, I really did not want to be a full-time stay at home mother. God called me to it and I obeyed. But heavens. It's been a process of transformation for me.) Simply moving here and watching my kids make friends with other kids in the neighborhood, my home and family as my primary ministry has been clearly confirmed.
And I want to be THAT mom. Where kids come and play. And eat all my snacks. And play with all our crafts. And become part of our extended family. But to be all of those things, I have to be physically, emotionally, spiritually and mindfully aware and present. I can't check out every afternoon while the kids play. One day, maybe. But likely not.
Of course, there's the spiritual "reset" too. Some of that comes in searching for a new church. It's physically and spiritually exhausting. Meeting new people is exhausting for me.
Listen, answering the simple, "Where are you from?" question is challenging.
Because, at this point, we're from nowhere and every where. The last city we lived in, we actually just slept in. We were still mostly "living" in the previous city. But saying we're "from" any of those is wrong. We are from Alabama. Except we haven't lived there in 16 years. And our kids are native Texans. So we're from no where. And Texas. At the same time.
Apart from the people and places, there's the listening for God's direction in this new season. I mean, clearly, He intends this to be a season of fresh starts. And I am ALL IN with that. But then what? I don't know.
I know my husband, my children and my home will continue to be my primary ministry. As much as I have resisted that label over the years. (Let's not forget, I really did not want to be a full-time stay at home mother. God called me to it and I obeyed. But heavens. It's been a process of transformation for me.) Simply moving here and watching my kids make friends with other kids in the neighborhood, my home and family as my primary ministry has been clearly confirmed.
And I want to be THAT mom. Where kids come and play. And eat all my snacks. And play with all our crafts. And become part of our extended family. But to be all of those things, I have to be physically, emotionally, spiritually and mindfully aware and present. I can't check out every afternoon while the kids play. One day, maybe. But likely not.
So.
Much happening. Much being "reset." Much to relish and soak up in the present. Much to look forward to.
Much happening. Much being "reset." Much to relish and soak up in the present. Much to look forward to.
And how excited are you about following along with me for the "reset?" Cause even if I am a bit intimidated by the amount of work I need to do to get my writing caught up, I'm super pumped to have the chance to do just that.
What in your life is in need of a "reset?"
I love that word reset. I look forward to reading about your resets.
ReplyDeleteLove you!