Gratitude Friday...

Of this, I am convinced:

My body hates me.

Truly.  It might have tried to hide it for a while but ultimately, the stress it has put me through just in the past year has been proof enough.  Let's not even go into the whole CANNOT MAKE A BABY thing.  Or the UTERUS RIPPING OPEN stuff.  

I have gleamed some lessons from all this...junk.

1)  I believe I am a better mom on the days when I am weak.  Not the weakest days.  Like yesterday when Chris came home to find me in a pile on the kitchen floor not sure my sea legs would hold me upright.  The good news was, Pumpkin was blissfully happy watching a movie and Rhys was dying with joy playing in a sink full of bubbles.  

But today, when I'm just sort of functional, I sit on the floor and play for hours.  Kindergarten (which I really dislike, by the way, because I can do nothing the "right" way, the way her teacher does), family, grocery shopping, etc.  

When I feel good, my To Do List seems to dictate my whole day.  I struggle with spending time in the Word or folding laundry.  I try to justify myself by saying I'll talk to God while I fold laundry.  But I'm fooling no one with that...including myself.  

2)  Which leads me to, I am more...willing?...trusting?...available?...to my Father when I am weak.  There's a reason He tells us when we are weak, He is strong.  All that fluttering around, wiping tables and noses, vacuuming, sweeping, snuggling, twirling, it is wonderful and blissful and my job/ministry/calling, but it can, because I let it, get in the way of my relationship with Christ.

Hard to let any of that get in the way when I'm praying every minute.  Not even praying for healing, y'all.  Just praying for His strength.  

3)  I love Chris and Aubrey Kate and Rhys.  So. Very. Much.  

Mixed in with those prayers of strength are prayers of gratitude.  Grateful to be with my husband and children.  Grateful for the times of weakness.  Grateful for the opportunity to refocus.

And also grateful...this darn body is not the last stop.  Geez.