The Gratitude Miracle...

Friday, I witnessed a miracle.

After our usual trip to the gym and my really, stellar-ly, awesome run, we came home for lunch, a shower and playtime before naps.  Lunch completed and playtime well underway, I snuck off for a quick shower.

Rhys' safety will always be a concern, since these days he's become enthralled with electrical outlets, but he's old enough and strong enough now that when he climbs on top of the kitchen table, he can get himself down.

I'm lightening fast in that shower.

But this day, he went to the playroom to read.

From my shower, I have a clear view of most of the playroom, as long as Rhys doesn't close the bathroom door.  Opening and closing doors is also a beloved pastime of his.  And Friday, he was kind enough to leave it open.  Score.

As I attempted to zoom through my routine, I looked up and saw Rhys sitting quietly on the playroom floor, book on his lap, flipping pages and "reading" out loud.  The sun was coming through the windows making his cotton top hair glow.  He appeared almost angelic.

For the first time, in a long time, I stopped and breathed in THAT moment.  Wanted to engrave it into my memory.  Every single image.  Every blissful second.

My precious son.  Our miracle.  Full of energy and laughter.  A little man who gives big, open mouth sloppy kisses.  And in the blink of an eye, can put his sister in a full-on head lock like he's a pro wrestler.  My son.

Overwhelmed with gratitude.

And...finally...able to feel that gratitude.  To accept it as real.  Welcome it back into my life and give it back to my Father.

Oh, I prayed and praised and worshiped.  Right there.  In my shower, watching my son doing the simplest of things, reading a book.

Somewhere during the holiday season, I lost myself.  We refer to it as "The Funk."  There are still days, and several days in a row even, when I am stuck in this Funk.  I'm processing through it.  There's a lot to get to.  Which seems silly because, let's face it, my life is a DREAM.  And I own that.  Acknowledge it.  Validate it.  And every other word to say I GET IT. 

But that doesn't mean I'm not restless.  

Six months ago, that wasn't true at all.  Six months ago I was the most content I'd ever been in my entire life.  Seriously.  But all that changed and now, that contentment comes and goes.  Some days are good and others, not so much.  

We've all been there.  There are seasons when you feel like David.  Called and anointed but not appointed.  Wandering around, chasing after sheep in a big open pasture.  Knowing this is not all God has planned for you in this life but understanding, NOT YET.  I've felt that ever since I left work.  Like God called me out for a reason (several actually which we completely get and are a millionity times grateful for) but only for a season.

The restlessness is growing.  No doubt.  So I'm doing my best to avoid getting in my own way and let God work.  Some days I'm better at that than others.  I'm a girl who can spend a whole heck of a lot of time in her own head.  I win at day dreaming.  Win at planning big things.  And certainly win at getting myself all worked up over something God might not have planned for me.  Would He condemn me or leave me if I walked through a door He never opened?  Nope.  But I'd rather wait on what is His Best instead of my best.  

Cause I also win at NOT THE BEST.

So that moment on Friday, when I was able to be still, watch my amazing son reading, and just be thankful.  It was a true miracle.  And one I so very desperately needed.  

God is good.