Kinda like Rocky at the top of the steps...

Got some new running tunes for you. 

 

I know.  You've been waiting for new music before you started that marathon training schedule you have pinned on your "Work It, Girl" Pinterest board.

 

Just in time for Christmas too.

 

You're welcome.

 

1.  Pushing Back the Dark - Josh Wilson  (Go ahead.  Try not to sing a "Whoa,Whoa-Whoa" on your run.  Double dog dare you.)

 

(That's Matthew West doing the Whoa-whoa's.  He's awesome.  In case I haven't mentioned him lately.  Which I haven't because, oh right, dead laptop.)

 

2. I Am - David Crowder (KILING.ME.)  (AK has this almost memorized now.  Calls this the "I am holding on to you" song to differentiate it from The Great I Am.  Love her.)

 

3. Mountaintop - The City Harmonic (These folks.  They DE.CLARE.IT.  I always feel like John Bender in The Breakfast Club after I listen to them.  All fist in the air like.  Rock on.)

 

(And can I mention that I really liked him in "Suddenly Susan?"  Sad the circumstances around the cancellation of that show.)

 

(Two people know what I'm talking about.)

 

(Okay, maybe just one.)

 

4.  Basic Instructions - Burlap to Cashmere  (oldie but how awesome is this?  Totally.  That's how.)

 

5.  Nothing Ever - Citizen Way (Can you feel the love?  Can you?)

 

6.  Running - Hillsong Live (Yes, for real, a running song titled "Running."  Not really the original purpose, I'm sure, but fabulous regardless.)

 

7.  The Struggle - Tenth Avenue North

 

This last song deserves a post of it's own.  It starts off slow but then the bridge hits and...

 

"Hallelujah, death is overcome
And we are breathing
Hallelujah our stone hearts become flesh
A flesh that's beating
Hallelujah chains have been undone
And we are singing
Hallelujah the fire has begun
Can you feel it?"

And then.  There's a pause. 

 

Chorus.

 

"Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing"

 

At this point, I am doing one of two things:

 

1. Running with both hands in fists over my head.  Like when Rocky hits the top of the stairs.  All, Yes, Lord!  I am FREE to struggle!

 

2.  Crying.

 

Sometimes both. 

 

Right now, y'all are so very sorry you are not my running partner. 

 

Which is why I don't have a running partner.  I need to be free to praise and look foolish all by myself. 

 

We all struggle.  God promises us with this life comes trouble.  All humans, Jesus-followers or not, struggle.  The difference comes in how we struggle. 

 

Do we struggle in self-pity?  Do we struggle in hopelessness?  Do we struggle in doubt?  In fear?  Do we struggle with hearts full of bitterness?  Wallow in thoughts of revenge?  Or spending hours comparing ourselves to others?  Or even to a perfect image we have of ourselves?  Do we struggle to get out of our own way? 

 

My struggles?  How am I going to slice this onion with one hand and hold baby with the other?  How am I going to stretch my grocery money this month?  How do I find time to spend with my Father when there are no more hours in the day? 

 

Really, just regular, boring, all moms feels this way, stuff. 

 

But what God says to me in this song is all my worries feeling like regular, boring, all moms feel this way stuff BECAUSE I am free to struggle.  In Him.  I am NOT struggling to be free.   

 

There is freedom in His salvation.  Freedom from being the one in control.  Freedom from fearing the future.  Freedom from isolation, separation, hopelessness. 

 

In Him, we are free to give Him the struggles. 

 

Exodus 14:14 is one my stairway wall.

 

"The Lord will fight for you; you only need be still."

 

Powerful verse.  The context is even more so.  The Israelites had just left Egypt.  Pharaoh let them go but then the Lord changed Pharaoh's heart so he loaded up his chariots and his armies and went after them.  The Israelites are terrified when they see their worst fears closing in behind them.  Imagine how gut-wrenchingly scary it was to them.  They thought slavery was bad before?  Just wait until the Egyptians have to catch them. 

 

But Moses, not yet knowing what God would do, calms their fears by telling them basically, God has got this.  Just wait and see what He's gonna do.

 

And do He did.

 

Staff in water.  Red Sea parted.  Egyptians drowned.

 

They didn't have to fight.  The struggle was simply to be still. 

 

This Christmas marks the first time since 2008 that I have not been either pregnant or celebrating "Baby's First Christmas."  In 2008, we had just had our first IVF cancelled.  Which came after a year of surgery, waiting, waiting, more waiting and a failed IUI.  It was a rough year. 

 

But now. 

 

Two gorgeous, blond-haired, blue-eyed amazing miracles. 

 

It was a struggle to get here.  But five years?  That's a ridiculously short amount of time.  Especially to the Creator.  Less than a blink of His eye.  From one side of my own Red Sea to the other. 

 

So all the regular, boring, every mom feels this way stuff is just that.  Stuff. 

 

The real question for you is, where is your struggle?  And are you free in that struggle?  Or are you kicking, screaming and trying to claw your own way out? 

 

God's already defeated whatever it is.  You are free.  Even in that struggle.  Just be still.  Rest in His freedom. 

 

And then run up those blasted stairs, fists in the air and HALLELUJH! 

 

 

Tenth Avenue North - The Struggle (with lyrics) from tenth-avenue-north on GodTube.