Gratitude Friday...

The very first song I remember memorizing from church was "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus."  I suspect there were six year olds in churches across the nation memorizing this hymn.  Because of it's pure repetitive simplicity.

"I have decided to follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus

No turning back, no turning back"

In general, my memory borders on royally awful.  My childhood memories, specifically, are few and far between.  

(Yes, please, go ahead and say a prayer for Chris.  He'll have to care for me when I've totally forgotten my entire life.)  

But this hymn... I can close my eyes and see little me walking around our backyard at our house in Montgomery, Alabama and hear myself singing the words.  I wasn't loud (which would have been odd) but I remember singing.  Over and over and over again.  Simply because I had memorized the words.

Now I see my own little girl learning songs.  The usual preschool songs, of course, like "Wheels on the Bus," the "ABC's," "Old McDonald," etc.  We also sing "You Are My Sunshine" and "Jesus Loves Me" before nap and bedtime.  She loves those.  

Me too.

There are other songs too.  She floored me with "Sing Sweet Nightingale" from Cinderella one day.  The ABC song from "Super Why" is also a favorite.  That one makes me giggle.  There's The Beatles, Chicago and the music we listen to during the day.  

Aubrey Kate loves to sing so she does it all day long.

By far, my favorite song she sings is "How He Loves Us."  We play the song a lot in general but we also play it when she asks to see pictures on our phones.  Both of us have a slide show setting and that's the song we normally use.  

There is nothing as sweet as hearing my miracle daughter sing, "He is jealous for me."  

I know as much as I was writing the words of that hymn on my heart and thus on my walk with Christ, Aubrey Kate is doing the same.  I did decide to follow Jesus.  Gave Him my life at our kitchen table when I was eight years old.  

But I did not make Him Lord of my life until I reached the brokenness of infertility.  

It was only in those moments when I was crying into a pillow in the back of a closet surrounded by darkness did I meet my Savior.  That's where He found me.  Like so many others.  At the bottom.  That is where He spoke, He healed, He began to teach me about a life focused on His goodness and blessings.  

Truth is, I wake up every day seeking to more fully understand His love.  His grace.  His jealousy for me.  Will undoubtedly spend my entire life seeking to know Him more. 

My walk with my Father is so very much more than simply following.  And much more than a decision.  

It is my heart's desire.   

There are not enough words to express my gratitude for the absolute JOY of hearing my little girl sing "How He Loves Us."  Such a precious song of praise.  

My prayer is the words will be written on her heart and will help direct her walk with Christ.  Perhaps she will come to a greater understanding of His love, grace and jealousy for her at a much younger age.  

Hopefully, when she reaches the bottom, she won't need to meet Christ there because He will already be carrying her through the entire journey.  I pray that even in her struggles, she will find her joy in Him.  Yes, she will have tough times but, Lord, remind her of these words then.  Remind her that You love her like a hurricane.  Remind her that in the face of Your grace and mercy, she has no need to hold on to regrets.  Fill her with Your love.

Oh, how You love us, Lord.