Gratitude Friday...

Today was a better day.

Oh, she woke up still almost three.  Because when I asked her if she wanted Fruity O's or Squares, she said she wasn't hungry, didn't want "brekust" and asked if she could make more Valentine's.

Eventually, I'll have to tell her we only make Valentine's once a year.  But that's not likely to happen today.

Since I had to wash her clothes after she had an accident...in Rhys' room...last night, I laid out two outfits on the kitchen table for her to select one to wear to school.  At first, she announced she didn't like either one.

"I don't want those."

"I'm sorry.  Those are your options.  Pick one."

Then she went to get her books to read to her babies.  Unfortunately, the two she really wanted out of the 58 we own, were the two on top of her dresser.  I couldn't go get them since I was feeding the other child in the family and the only one who was not opposed to eating breakfast.

"I'll get them down after I finish feeding Rhys, Aubrey Kate."

Crossing her arms, flopping to the floor with every ounce of sass she could muster.

"No one is here to help me!  I am all by myself!"

Calmly.  "Aubrey Kate, if you would like to start your day pitching a fit, you will have to do it in your room.  Make a choice.  Pitch a fit in your room or play on your own."

She selected secret option 3 and chose to dress herself for school.

Which she actually did.  Mostly on her own.  And she selected her Valentine's gift outfit to wear.

I was pleased.

After that, she was a doll.  Well, except for asking if it was time to leave about 6,324 times.

That is only annoying if you let it be and, considering, I made the mature decision to not let it bother me today.  After all, it was a countdown to her going to play.  Somewhere else.

Please understand.  I adore her.  My family is my world.  She sings, "My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty" and I just want to eat her up with a spoon.  There is nothing she could do to change the fact that I love her more every day.

But she's a toddler.

So let's just be honest and admit, it's hard.  It's exhausting.  And I fail everyday.

Which brings me to what I'm grateful for today.

A few weeks ago, the Lord began nudging me.  Reminding me that I needed to make praying over my daughter a priority again.

I pray over Rhys almost every night.  I'm being open and real when I say there are some nights when my brain is fried or I just want to sing to him or when my to do list won't turn off or Wheels on the Bus is playing in a loop in my head.  But most nights, I do pray over him as he drinks he bottle.

I did the same thing for Aubrey Kate when she was a baby.  It was and is such a precious time.

But once she dropped the bottle, there was not a whole lot of quiet, snuggle time.  We read a story, sing, say our prayers and then tuck her in.

One night at the Lord's urging, I simply asked her if I could pray over her.  Of course, she said yes.

We praised the Lord, thanked Him for another day to spend together as a family.  I specifically thanked God for Aubrey Kate's sensitive spirit.  Her sweet and kind heart.  Thanked Him for her helpful nature.  She's such a good big sister to Rhys and a wonderful helper for me, Lord.  Asked Him to watch over her and protect her as she slept.  Please bring us back together tomorrow for one more day as a family, Lord.  We love you, Father.  Amen.

After that night, she asks me frequently if I will pray over her.  She also asks me if I will pray over other people.  Daddy, Rhys, her little friends, pretty much anyone she knows.  So we do pray for them.

Last night, she again asked for me to pray over her.  I so wish you could hear her sweet voice when she asks.  Melts my heart.

Before we read our story, I asked her if I could talk with her about the day.  I told her how her words had hurt my feelings.  That I had worked hard to make her breakfast, pick out a cute outfit she would like and had plans for a fun tea party.  I tried to explain how our words can hurt.  She needs to think about what she says and how those words can make the other person feel.

As much as a three year old can get it, she seemed to understand.  When I asked her to tell me what we talked about, she said she had made mommy sad because she didn't want to eat breakfast or wear the leggings (there's a whole conversation about those leggings that will wear you out...).

I was okay with that.

Then, I apologized to her for letting my hurt feelings affect me the rest of the day.  She said sweetly, "That's okay, Mommy.  I love you."

I started our prayer then.  And in addition to the usual, I prayed for forgiveness.  For both of us.  And thanked God for forgiving us when we ask and loving us regardless of our sin.

From my heart, I'm not telling this story because I am a great mom.  I'm not even a good one, whatever that means, most days.  I mess up in a zillion ways.  There are moments when I simply am clueless about what to do.  Do I send her to the naughty dog for the forth time today?  How long do I let her go without eating just because she doesn't want the rice and chicken I cooked?

I'm telling this story simply because I am grateful for the sweet spirit of my daughter who seems to eat up prayer.  Hearing her say, "Dear Heavenly Father," is an absolute joy.  Pure.  Joy.  

I am grateful for the urging of the Holy Spirit.  Kind.  Calm.  Steady.  Loving.  He is such a gift.  Jesus told His disciples it was better for him to go so the Spirit could come.  I gotta tell ya, that would have been a hard sell for me.  But y'all, the Holy Spirit.  What a friend.  

And oddly, in a way, I am grateful for days like yesterday when things are simply bad.  I am bad.  She is bad.  The pee pee in the nursery carpet is bad.  Because it makes days like today, when my daughter prays to Jesus and thanks Him for her "sweet daddy," such a treasure.  

I am much like the Israelites, in constant need of being reminded my God brought me out of slavery and into this promised land of dancing to Cinderella with my son in my arms, making Valentine's for our family, and listening to my daughter sing "Oh How He Love Us" as she looks through her books.