A different kind of Weigh-in Wednesday...

I had a post all written for today.  

Well, in my head.  Which totally counts.

But then I went to our women's bible study this morning.  And I've had a change of heart.

Something's weighing me down far more than some extra pounds.  Something more eternal. And something for which I don't have an answer.

Our bible discussions this week focused on giving.  At small group Sunday, the men were there so the conversation focused largely on finances.  The women did talk about that today.  Especially since it seems we are all struggling with some major financial challenges.  

But my heart wasn't in the money.  It rarely is.  

My heart was in the sacrificial gratitude. 

Among others, we used this passage to guide our discussion:

"When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

"When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

"Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

“Tell me, teacher,” he said.

“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

"Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.  Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little."

"Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

"The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

"Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Luke 7:36-50

Our pastor challenged us this week to pray beyond the tithe.  That is a set amount we are to give back to God.  Look, instead, towards an offering which represents your gratitude for who God is, what He has done and what He will do.  Take a step further, and think about a sacrificial offering.  A step of extravagant love.  One where you have no idea how you can give that but you trust God will take what you give and do "immeasurably more."

Yes, our church is going through some fund raising.  "We" are very sensitive to the words used to describe events.  So we're not doing a capital campaign, we're doing a "missional move."  Now, some of the terms we avoid seem a little silly to me...a traditional church goer...but this concept of a "missional move", that I can get on board with.  

Largely because it is far more than buildings and seats.  We're doing that, but we are also starting a school in India to train pastors.  Pastors who will in turn plant churches.  And really, that's a very basic description because they will do far more.  

But that is missions.  A missional move.

And it costs money.  

So yes, there has to be a discussion on finances.  

For us, as a family, we recognize nothing we have belongs to us.  That includes our money.  God provides.  And we are praying about what we can give.  

But when I think about a gratitude offering or an offering of extravagant love, I am overwhelmed.  

Not because I am underwhelmed by Jesus.

But because I am overwhelmed by Him!  

How could I possibly give a gift to even begin to thank Him for my life?  For my precious miracle babies?  For our house?  For a closet full of clothes?  For a pantry full of food?  For running water?  For a job?  For our friends?  For our church?

This time a year ago, my prayer was so very selfishly for another child.  And not just a child but a child through natural conception.  

A freebie.

The stress of paying for IVF, I felt, was too much for my sweet husband to bear.  For him, I wanted desperately to conceive without wiping out every penny we had.  

God heard my cry.  And He said Yes.  

Now precious Rhys is rocking peacefully in the swing next to me.  

How do I give to show my gratitude for him?  

We could give every cent we have or will ever have and it wouldn't be enough.  

My heart is feeling there's more.  There's more than simply giving God our money.  I need to give Him my heart, all of it, my talent, my time...my life.  

A sacrificial gift of extravagant love.  An alabaster jar of precious perfume.  

So I putting myself on the scale to check-in on my heart.  What do I have in my own alabaster jar that I can give?  

I'm not sure.  But I'm ready to give it.