Give her a hug, maybe some mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC and then walk away quickly because heaven help her, she’s an amazing Southern woman who will ask you all kinds of questions about your life. Forty-five minutes later you’ll be wondering how the conversation turned from celebrating her fabulous birthday to you and your issues.
It’s a tried and true method of distraction all Southern women are taught to utilize to avoid discussion of their birthdays and shoe size.
And Linda has it down to an art form.
So Mrs. Skinny has been cooking up a plan to celebrate for a while. Linda’s a hard woman to surprise. She’s excellent at picking up on subtle clues almost like that guy on “Lie to Me”. Have you seen that show? Freaky. She too can detect the slight pupil dilation to see that yes, Robin, you are fibbing about coming up here. I’m in real trouble should video conferencing ever take over regular people conversations.
The plan went off well this morning and Mrs. Skinny is very proud to say Linda’s yard is now covered in pink flamingos. As my mother would say, “Tacky, tacky, tacky!” Which is what makes it so flippin’ fabulous!
Dear Linda, you are such a wonderful friend. We adore you. And yes, that means Mrs. Skinny and I will continue to plot and plan to make sure you know how much we love you and are so thankful to have you in our lives. Enjoy the birthday surprise and try to just let people tell you how much they love you today without feeling the need to deflect the attention away from yourself!
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