The Pool Party…

Thanks to our wonderful church group, I’ve met several ladies who have been or who are going through infertility treatments. Last night, a recovering infertile (meaning she now has two beautiful girls) and a relative newcomer to our little club got together at my house to eat, chat and pray. We shared our stories and where we are on the path now. I found myself fascinated by both these amazing women.

I’ll call them Mrs. Eartha and Mrs. Ageless. Mrs. Eartha has a natural, warm feeling. From her cotton tee-shirts and skirts to her wavy long hair that looks effortless in a pony tail, she feels wholesome and lovely. She and her wonderful husband have hearts large enough for the whole world. Oh, and they’re OU graduates.

Mrs. Ageless somehow manages to look younger than the newlyweds in our Sunday School class. Maybe it’s the tennis or the love of her wonderful family but whatever it is, you can feel her enthusiasm and energy radiating from her. She’s perfectly put together which manages to make every woman a little jealous until she smiles and suddenly you’re talking like old girlfriends without even realizing the change.

Mrs. Eartha is our newbie. They’ve been trying for a while but are just starting to really investigate all this scientific stuff. She’s learning the vocabulary, meeting with her RE and diving right into the deep end of the pool. I think some people wade slowly into the world of ART and some have no other choice but to just take that leap of faith and jump. She’s standing on the diving board looking around for some advice on which type of stunt she should perform when she jumps. I remember that feeling. The over-whelming oppression of it all. The desire to just do it while trying to force the fear out of your mind and heart.

Across the pool is Mrs. Ageless who’s been there and done that. Very literally. She reminds us of the hope and how one day, we’ll actually forget how much Follistim we injected and what our FSH levels were. Someday after we’ve met the children God has planned for us, we won’t care how much it cost or how long we had to wait. Then we can join her in our own floating lounge chair as we try to offer our insight and prayers for the scared souls just becoming unwilling members of our pool.

And there I am. I’ve already taken the plunge. I’m treading water in the deep end but somehow, I’m not tired. The Lord sent me a life jacket. He took away my despair and replaced it with contentment. On May 28th, as I was working, I suddenly knew, knew way down deep almost in my bones, that we would have a family. That’s not something every infertile feels. The fear of never having a child can feel like it’s strangling the life out of you slowly. But on that day, I just knew. I have no idea if that will be a biological child or an adopted child. I’m okay either way which is another thing I could not have said a month ago. But I know the Lord has a plan and for that I’m willing to wait.

As I sat there listening and sharing, I smiled remembering where we’d come from looking at Mrs. Eartha and patiently waiting to be able to look back on our journey like Mrs. Ageless. Because regardless of where we are at the pool party, God deserves my praise and my gratitude for inviting me in the first place. Without Him, it just wouldn’t be a party at all.

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.” - Acts 20:24