Ralphie vs Boomer & Sooner…
In honor of this upcoming weekend, I thought I would share with you my second favorite Big 12 Championship game story. I’m saving my first favorite for my memoires. I’m still playing around with titles but it’ll be something along the lines of “Life Assisted” or “Assisting Life”. It’s gonna knock that devil book out of the water. Tens of people will read it, I’m sure.
Anyway, this story is from the game in 2004 where The University of Oklahoma Sooners met The University of Colorado Buffaloes. At the time, I had no idea Colorado were the Buffaloes. Being relatively new to the Big 12, I was still learning about the schools. Our first year at OU, I spent the entire season being pretty bored during football games where we scored 77 points to the opposing team’s 0. Expect for the Texas game. That was way fun. Needless to say, I knew very little about Colorado or their mascot. And really, all I cared about was winning the darn game after the previous season’s choking.
So there we are snuggled in to our seats in the pleasant 13 below weather in Kansas City. The band sat next to the tunnel where we got to see the teams run out and in and out and back in. The Sooner Schooner and precious ponies, Boomer and Sooner, were also in the tunnel. The Schooner goes pretty much where the team goes. Not all stadiums will allow the Schooner on to the field but its there regardless. Just in front of the Schooner, I saw a trailer with the Colorado logo on the side. I had watched this massive thing get backed into place and was only vaguely curious as to what the heck was inside.
That is until it had been there about 5 minutes and I started to smell something. I was sitting next to the First Lady of the Pride of Oklahoma like I did every game those first 2 years. I leaned over and said,
“Do you smell that?”
“Yes! Must be the animals.”
“Man, Boomer and Sooner need to lay off the broccoli!”
“It’s probably Ralphie.”
“Who?”
“Ralphie. Colorado’s buffalo.”
“What? They have a buffalo?”
“Yeah, you didn’t know that?”
“Um, no.”
Okay, Colorado, you have my attention. Soon, little cowboys started gathering around the trailer. I’m sure they weren’t really that small but compared to the trailer and the size I was assuming the beast inside to be, they were mini-cowboys. They all had on matching tight Wrangler jeans with identical plaid flannel shirts tucked in and gigantic belt buckles and cowboy hats. They looked authentic but I had my doubts.
As I’m watching them, a group of the cowboys brings a cage up to the back of the trailer. I immediately say to the First Lady,
“What the heck are they doing?”
I have no idea if she responded because about that time, one of the cowboys opened the back of the trailer and out came Ralphie.
Hello. He’s rather large. And ugly. And holy crap, he’s 20 feet away from where I am currently sitting.
No wonder it smells so bad.
I feel myself getting just a little worried. Having never been this close to a live buffalo, or heck, having never actually seen a live buffalo, I have no frame of reference for what may or may not happen. Honestly, I might have even thought they were extinct. The only ones I’d ever seen were in paintings with the Native Americans (shout out) running after them with spears. I started looking for Chris since he was somewhere on the field “working”. I see him but I can’t get his attention. Oh well, if he dies in a buffalo stampede of one, so be it. I’m not jumping down to save him.
It doesn’t take long, although it felt like hours, before the mini-boys line themselves around the cage. Then they do the unimaginable. They opened the gate. Holy crap.
The next thing I know, the mini-boys and Ralphie are running onto the field! Are you kidding me? They let that thing lose!!!
Then, it happens. They turn around. And run straight. Towards. Me.
About ½ a second after they turn around running full speed in my direction, I started looking for an escape route.
Or I jumped into the First Lady’s arms.
My memory’s a little hazy on that one but let’s just say I was a little freaked.
Thankfully, he ran straight back into the trailer like the well-trained buffalo the entire stadium was hoping he was and they shut the door behind him.
Seriously. My heart is racing writing this.
Fortunately, my Sooners didn’t see this spectacle. Because if they had, they might have actually been afraid of the Colorado football team. Instead, they squashed them, the trailer pulled out of the stadium with Ralphie comfortably inside and all was right with the world.
In honor of this upcoming weekend, I thought I would share with you my second favorite Big 12 Championship game story. I’m saving my first favorite for my memoires. I’m still playing around with titles but it’ll be something along the lines of “Life Assisted” or “Assisting Life”. It’s gonna knock that devil book out of the water. Tens of people will read it, I’m sure.
Anyway, this story is from the game in 2004 where The University of Oklahoma Sooners met The University of Colorado Buffaloes. At the time, I had no idea Colorado were the Buffaloes. Being relatively new to the Big 12, I was still learning about the schools. Our first year at OU, I spent the entire season being pretty bored during football games where we scored 77 points to the opposing team’s 0. Expect for the Texas game. That was way fun. Needless to say, I knew very little about Colorado or their mascot. And really, all I cared about was winning the darn game after the previous season’s choking.
So there we are snuggled in to our seats in the pleasant 13 below weather in Kansas City. The band sat next to the tunnel where we got to see the teams run out and in and out and back in. The Sooner Schooner and precious ponies, Boomer and Sooner, were also in the tunnel. The Schooner goes pretty much where the team goes. Not all stadiums will allow the Schooner on to the field but its there regardless. Just in front of the Schooner, I saw a trailer with the Colorado logo on the side. I had watched this massive thing get backed into place and was only vaguely curious as to what the heck was inside.
That is until it had been there about 5 minutes and I started to smell something. I was sitting next to the First Lady of the Pride of Oklahoma like I did every game those first 2 years. I leaned over and said,
“Do you smell that?”
“Yes! Must be the animals.”
“Man, Boomer and Sooner need to lay off the broccoli!”
“It’s probably Ralphie.”
“Who?”
“Ralphie. Colorado’s buffalo.”
“What? They have a buffalo?”
“Yeah, you didn’t know that?”
“Um, no.”
Okay, Colorado, you have my attention. Soon, little cowboys started gathering around the trailer. I’m sure they weren’t really that small but compared to the trailer and the size I was assuming the beast inside to be, they were mini-cowboys. They all had on matching tight Wrangler jeans with identical plaid flannel shirts tucked in and gigantic belt buckles and cowboy hats. They looked authentic but I had my doubts.
As I’m watching them, a group of the cowboys brings a cage up to the back of the trailer. I immediately say to the First Lady,
“What the heck are they doing?”
I have no idea if she responded because about that time, one of the cowboys opened the back of the trailer and out came Ralphie.
Hello. He’s rather large. And ugly. And holy crap, he’s 20 feet away from where I am currently sitting.
No wonder it smells so bad.
I feel myself getting just a little worried. Having never been this close to a live buffalo, or heck, having never actually seen a live buffalo, I have no frame of reference for what may or may not happen. Honestly, I might have even thought they were extinct. The only ones I’d ever seen were in paintings with the Native Americans (shout out) running after them with spears. I started looking for Chris since he was somewhere on the field “working”. I see him but I can’t get his attention. Oh well, if he dies in a buffalo stampede of one, so be it. I’m not jumping down to save him.
It doesn’t take long, although it felt like hours, before the mini-boys line themselves around the cage. Then they do the unimaginable. They opened the gate. Holy crap.
The next thing I know, the mini-boys and Ralphie are running onto the field! Are you kidding me? They let that thing lose!!!
Then, it happens. They turn around. And run straight. Towards. Me.
About ½ a second after they turn around running full speed in my direction, I started looking for an escape route.
Or I jumped into the First Lady’s arms.
My memory’s a little hazy on that one but let’s just say I was a little freaked.
Thankfully, he ran straight back into the trailer like the well-trained buffalo the entire stadium was hoping he was and they shut the door behind him.
Seriously. My heart is racing writing this.
Fortunately, my Sooners didn’t see this spectacle. Because if they had, they might have actually been afraid of the Colorado football team. Instead, they squashed them, the trailer pulled out of the stadium with Ralphie comfortably inside and all was right with the world.
You're right. That animal goes anywhere he wants to, the "cowboys" just follow along. I had some of the same thoughts you had (finding an escape route) when I saw that behemoth animal at the Gator Bowl about 35 years ago. Probably not the same "Ralphie" but I remember play the "runaway buffalo" scenario in my mind.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Gators, GO GATORS! Martha