In the category of things you likely don’t know about me, I submit the following: I have a superpower.
It’s not fancy or really even envied. It doesn’t require a uniform or a gold belt which is a good thing because I look awful in those oversized belts. I’ve always dreamed of being “Financially Independent Girl” for obvious reasons but alas, that is not my cross to bear.
Anyway, my superpower came up for discussion yesterday morning in the form of a question.
To wear hose or not to wear hose?
I asked this question to the most reliable source for truth and justice.
The other women at my gym.
Granted, I don’t even know all of their names, where they live or what they do for a living but we share a bond. The bond built out of sweating, grunting and complaining every morning about our workout, our cellulite and our hair. The conversation is obviously very thought provoking.
However, yesterday morning’s question did bring my superpower to light.
Drum roll please.
I present to you Pale Girl! With one newly shaved and greased leg, I am able to blind would be predators, dogs and small children (who can be the scariest of all) from 20 feet away. Able to repel men with one mini-skirt. Able to make other women feel good about their own legs. Truly a gift.
It’s not a bad superpower as long as you use it for good and not evil. I’m not really sure what that means exactly but the announcer voice in my head told me to say it.
The whole point behind the question and thus the revelation of said superpower was whether or not I wanted to blind Mr. Movie Star that evening. The post-production party was scheduled for just after work at this retro Rat Pack/Frank Sinatra, Vegas when Vegas was for mobsters kind of lounge downtown. Immediately after I was invited I knew with 150% certainty I had nothing cool enough to wear to that kind of joint. So I did what most women would do, shaved my legs and put on a black pencil skirt. Good, bad, ugly or blindingly pale, it doesn’t really matter. Shaved legs and a black pencil skirts says you are dressed to impress.
Unfortunately, the rendezvous was never to happen. I think there was a party sometime around 10:00 pm last night which was precisely 52 minutes after me, Pale Girl, and my shaved legs had crawled into bed. Oh and I opted for no hose. Go all out or go home.
It’s not fancy or really even envied. It doesn’t require a uniform or a gold belt which is a good thing because I look awful in those oversized belts. I’ve always dreamed of being “Financially Independent Girl” for obvious reasons but alas, that is not my cross to bear.
Anyway, my superpower came up for discussion yesterday morning in the form of a question.
To wear hose or not to wear hose?
I asked this question to the most reliable source for truth and justice.
The other women at my gym.
Granted, I don’t even know all of their names, where they live or what they do for a living but we share a bond. The bond built out of sweating, grunting and complaining every morning about our workout, our cellulite and our hair. The conversation is obviously very thought provoking.
However, yesterday morning’s question did bring my superpower to light.
Drum roll please.
I present to you Pale Girl! With one newly shaved and greased leg, I am able to blind would be predators, dogs and small children (who can be the scariest of all) from 20 feet away. Able to repel men with one mini-skirt. Able to make other women feel good about their own legs. Truly a gift.
It’s not a bad superpower as long as you use it for good and not evil. I’m not really sure what that means exactly but the announcer voice in my head told me to say it.
The whole point behind the question and thus the revelation of said superpower was whether or not I wanted to blind Mr. Movie Star that evening. The post-production party was scheduled for just after work at this retro Rat Pack/Frank Sinatra, Vegas when Vegas was for mobsters kind of lounge downtown. Immediately after I was invited I knew with 150% certainty I had nothing cool enough to wear to that kind of joint. So I did what most women would do, shaved my legs and put on a black pencil skirt. Good, bad, ugly or blindingly pale, it doesn’t really matter. Shaved legs and a black pencil skirts says you are dressed to impress.
Unfortunately, the rendezvous was never to happen. I think there was a party sometime around 10:00 pm last night which was precisely 52 minutes after me, Pale Girl, and my shaved legs had crawled into bed. Oh and I opted for no hose. Go all out or go home.
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