Groupie...

Check me out! It's a Tuesday night and I'm writing! Not working.

There's a reason for that but that's another post for another day.

You're so welcome.

Sunday and Monday, I had the privilege of meeting with two groups of women. The first was our new infertility support group at our church. The second was the infertility support group I was a part of when we were waiting.

The group at church is just starting to gain some momentum. There is one other couple who are regular attenders. They are wonderful. I have had such a good time getting to know them the last several months.

She is a leader in the infertility world. The woman has written a book! And she runs a website where she can communicate with other women all over the world.

Yeah, I feel small.

But we have talked at length about the struggle to reach women. She has hosted workshops at conferences where two women show up. And since 1 in 6 couples deal with infertility, we know there are more out there.

It's just such a sensitive issues. So many struggle alone. I've heard it described by women as the darkest point in their life. They felt hopeless. One of the women from this past week is now a grandmother but she suffered through more miscarriages than children. And she had no one to talk with. Even her husband didn't really understand her grief.

Then there are the challenges within our own faith. Both in your own personal walk with Christ and concerns about how others might react.

And let's not even get into discussing "baby makin'" with strangers.

Trust me. At some point on the infertility journey, everyone realizes sex and making babies are two entirely different things for us.

But it takes a while to reach THAT point.

So since we know all of that, we have not been surprised it has taken a while for people to come. We are praying for this group. Praying for the women who have come and the women who will come in the future. And ultimately, I hope we are able to reach outside the walls of our church and offer support to women in the community. I know when I moved here and was looking for a support group, the only one I found was way north.

Also known as about six minutes from our little apartment.

I think God just loves circles.

I remember having to leave work a few minutes early so I could beat the ridiculous traffic headed north. Only to spend the entire 90 minute bumper to bumper commute thinking why in the world do I have to drive so far to find other infertile women?

Um. Anyone else hear someone laughing?

So here we are. In the back yard of that exact church. Next door to the wonderful women who prayed with me and checked up on me when I couldn't bare to go to the meeting and celebrated with me when Aubrey Kate was conceived.

We'd been here all of 4 minutes when I emailed Allison. She's already offered to show me around town, hook me up with a playgroup and meet us for church when we're ready to start visiting.

It seemed completely natural for me to get involved with the group again. Although now it is much larger. But last night I was able to talk with another sweet women who is just entering an area of infertility I believe we are pretty much experts in. She had lots of questions. Lots of concerns. And she shed lots of tears.

I left that meeting feeling God saying, "See. I know what I'm doing here. You're where I need you to be. Just chill." There was such a peace about several issues I've been struggling with. A calm I'd been praying for and honestly, thinking I could create on my own if I did A, B and C or got X, Y and Z.

Pretty certain no one else has ever done that but me.

I have let go of some things I wanted and found I can breath a little easier.

Why do we hold on when we know turning it over will be better for us?

And why do we need to learn that lesson...the hard way...over and over and over again?

Or at least I do.

But I know without a doubt, these two groups will continue to be a part of my life. I will keep driving the hour south to meet with our new group. And keep driving the six minutes north to meet with the old group. Because God blessed me with the unbelievably amazing, undeniably humbling, awesomely ordained GIFT of infertility.

Although I realize, this makes me an infertility support group Groupie. Oh well.