Can I get a break from all this merriment please?

First, can I just say this. The reindeer antlers on car windows? Like. What is that exactly? Or the Christmas wreath on the front of the truck? Or Christmas tinsel wrapped around the luggage rack on top of the SUV?

Is this some sort of WASPy culture thing that I am not up on?

Because let me assure you, I am in the know on all things WASPy. All other cultures, not so much. But the pasty Protestant people, I get.

Chris even called me this morning to discuss this topic.

So as a family unit, the Evans’ would like to say: We don’t get it.

Thank you.

I am happy to report our home is officially decorated for Christmas. One of Aubrey Kate’s teachers gave her two Christmas ornaments and we promptly hung those up on either side of our Orange and Blue homemade Auburn banner over the mantel.

Christmas decorations. Done.

Also checked off the list this past weekend were gifts for our two adorable nephews, Grandmother’s gift, one of the dad’s gifts and I am about half-way done with the gifts for the women in our family.

That just leaves the wrapping. Which is not that easy for me because I have a thing about wrapping gifts. They have to be perfect. PERFECT.

Thanks to Fanny I am very wary of saying anything is “sort of OCD” because let’s face it, you either have this crippling mental illness where you are forced to perform a ritual of some sort lest you don’t, people will die, or you just like things to be a certain way.

I like gifts to be wrapped a certain way. People may not die if not but I have been known to make a snippy comment or two should I be interrupted during this vital life-affirming process.

Also. I believe I have spent more on the packaging of gifts this year than the actual gifts themselves.

And since I know you are all waiting with bated breath, than annual Holiday Party at work is done.

We went off site this year which means two rather important things:

1. I did not have to spend hours, days and weeks creating centerpieces by wrapping copy paper boxes and filling glass vases with plastic Christmas ornaments.

2. It was ridiculously expensive therefore I will have to return to doing point #1 next year.

There was a great deal of food and libations served. A band played. (I am still humming “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” which is likely to continue to be stuck in my head since I believe this to be a rather psycho-semantic thing where I am subconsciously attempting to force this into reality.) Dancing occurred. And in general people seemed to have a rather lovely time.

I spent the whole night like this:

I’m the white haired one checking people off as they come in the door.

At some point, I could have left the check-in table but it was precisely at that moment when another party next door to ours decided they had earned the right to help themselves to our open bar.

Now look. I am not the world’s biggest party pooper. Really. It’s not my money we were spending here and I have a genuine fear of buzzed cowboys in pressed Wrangles and Stetsons (that’s just for you Tab!).

But they made the mistake of actually coming and asking me how long the bar would be open.

Dude.

So I had to call them out and say, for our guests another couple of hours. For you and the guests at your party, it’s closed.

They didn’t take too kindly to me. They proceeded to spend the rest of the night glaring at me from the open door of their party.

Obviously, they completely underestimated my ability to sit in one spot for extended periods of time. I have mastered the art of not moving from my chair for hours upon hours. In fact, there are days when I literally realize somewhere around lunch time that I have not gotten up from my chair to even visit the lady’s room.

Needless to say, pasty white girl: 1. Buzzed cowboys: 0.