First let me tell you that this morning’s traffic report included a back up on the highway I travel due to cattle on the road.
Cattle. On the road.
Seriously?
Okay, so yesterday we had a Town Hall meeting at work hosting one of our companies’ new COO. Yes, we are more than one company. As Linda would say, we cast a wide net.
Anyway, the plan was to hear him tell us a bit about himself and how this new company would be affecting the rest of us then have a little reception to officially welcome him to our office and give the employees the chance to meet a member of our executive management team.
The meeting was scheduled for 4:00 pm with the plan being the presentation and Q&A would last about an hour and then we could start the reception (complete with alcohol) just before or right at 5:00 pm. After the official close of the work day.
I knew from email check-ins that the presentation was loaded, the room was set and the food was being delivered so I wasn’t in a huge rush to get there. We have a great staff – no need for me to babysit them while they do their job. So I waited until about 10-15 minutes before four to head down that way.
Mistake.
What I saw when I walked into the room is almost indescribable. My jaw hit the floor.
I walked straight back to our catering manager who with just one look told me it was far worse than I could even see. He was still setting up the reception and yet the food was almost gone. There were easily 50 ppl in the room with their plates over-flowing with food meant to be served at the close of the meeting.
And they had taken it upon themselves to open the wine and dig out the beer too.
During a work day.
Oh. My. Gosh.
I helped catering as best I could try and scramble to finish getting set up while simultaneously refilling the entire reception. People were starting to hack into the tall cheeses (you know, the ones not sliced that are there for the appearance of it).
I felt like Meg Ryan’s character in “You’ve Got Mail” when Joe Fox starts scraping the caviar off the side of the platter. I wanted to scream “That’s the garnish! You don’t eat the garnish!”
Of course, all this chaos meant I heard not a single word the COO had to say because I was spending all of my mental energy thinking of those etiquette lessons your momma never specifically said but maybe she should have. For your entertainment (and I’m hoping once I get this out, I can let it go), I’ve listed those lessons for you. Don’t say no one ever told you not to do these things.
1. Please use the tongs provided. Yes we absolutely trust that you did JUST wash your hands but let’s go ahead and use them anyway.
2. Let’s allow the catering staff to do their job before you begin eating. That includes (but may not be limited to):
a. not eating off the cart – let’s give them time to put the food on the table instead of you pulling off the plastic wrap and picking up the tray directly from the cart
b. not opening the coolers to find a beverage – again, I promise the beverages will be set out for you to easily see and grab in due time
c. not using your hands as a reception plate when we have either not yet put the plates on the table and when we have run out of plates
3. The word “reception” is not a synonym for “dinner”. If you are using cheese, bread, fruit and brownies as your dinner, you need to rethink your diet. It’s meant to be a light snack; something to fill your tummy so you don’t get wasted drinking a glass of wine when you haven’t eaten since lunch.
4. Along those same lines, please do not fill your plate so high it resembles the leaning town of Pisa. Your stack of food did not go unnoticed by others which made them wonder if there wouldn’t be enough food for them. Creating a mob like scene where everyone felt the need to get as much food as possible in one sitting. Consequently, we ran out of food. I blame you entirely.
5. I’m not positive where you were raised but it is customary in corporate culture not to drink alcohol during the work day. Yes, I’m aware it is five o’clock somewhere but not here. It’s central time and we’ve still got an hour. Which would give us plenty of time to set the bar up properly and serve you in a respectable manner. Because clearly, you are someone who deserves respect as was displayed during the presentation leading me to point #6.
6. If at all possible, please try to keep your cell phone calls down to a minimum during the COO’s presentation. I realize you are important. I am also aware you stood in the back of the room near the food in a not-so-sly attempt to continually eat and drink during the presentation but also so you could take said phone calls as needed. Unless your title is also three little letters like CFO or CEO, you should probably keep your attention focused on the highest ranking company official in the room. One who, I might add, took two days to come down to our offices from corporate leaving his own work piling up and staying away from his family, just to spend some time with the employees.
Cattle. On the road.
Seriously?
Okay, so yesterday we had a Town Hall meeting at work hosting one of our companies’ new COO. Yes, we are more than one company. As Linda would say, we cast a wide net.
Anyway, the plan was to hear him tell us a bit about himself and how this new company would be affecting the rest of us then have a little reception to officially welcome him to our office and give the employees the chance to meet a member of our executive management team.
The meeting was scheduled for 4:00 pm with the plan being the presentation and Q&A would last about an hour and then we could start the reception (complete with alcohol) just before or right at 5:00 pm. After the official close of the work day.
I knew from email check-ins that the presentation was loaded, the room was set and the food was being delivered so I wasn’t in a huge rush to get there. We have a great staff – no need for me to babysit them while they do their job. So I waited until about 10-15 minutes before four to head down that way.
Mistake.
What I saw when I walked into the room is almost indescribable. My jaw hit the floor.
I walked straight back to our catering manager who with just one look told me it was far worse than I could even see. He was still setting up the reception and yet the food was almost gone. There were easily 50 ppl in the room with their plates over-flowing with food meant to be served at the close of the meeting.
And they had taken it upon themselves to open the wine and dig out the beer too.
During a work day.
Oh. My. Gosh.
I helped catering as best I could try and scramble to finish getting set up while simultaneously refilling the entire reception. People were starting to hack into the tall cheeses (you know, the ones not sliced that are there for the appearance of it).
I felt like Meg Ryan’s character in “You’ve Got Mail” when Joe Fox starts scraping the caviar off the side of the platter. I wanted to scream “That’s the garnish! You don’t eat the garnish!”
Of course, all this chaos meant I heard not a single word the COO had to say because I was spending all of my mental energy thinking of those etiquette lessons your momma never specifically said but maybe she should have. For your entertainment (and I’m hoping once I get this out, I can let it go), I’ve listed those lessons for you. Don’t say no one ever told you not to do these things.
1. Please use the tongs provided. Yes we absolutely trust that you did JUST wash your hands but let’s go ahead and use them anyway.
2. Let’s allow the catering staff to do their job before you begin eating. That includes (but may not be limited to):
a. not eating off the cart – let’s give them time to put the food on the table instead of you pulling off the plastic wrap and picking up the tray directly from the cart
b. not opening the coolers to find a beverage – again, I promise the beverages will be set out for you to easily see and grab in due time
c. not using your hands as a reception plate when we have either not yet put the plates on the table and when we have run out of plates
3. The word “reception” is not a synonym for “dinner”. If you are using cheese, bread, fruit and brownies as your dinner, you need to rethink your diet. It’s meant to be a light snack; something to fill your tummy so you don’t get wasted drinking a glass of wine when you haven’t eaten since lunch.
4. Along those same lines, please do not fill your plate so high it resembles the leaning town of Pisa. Your stack of food did not go unnoticed by others which made them wonder if there wouldn’t be enough food for them. Creating a mob like scene where everyone felt the need to get as much food as possible in one sitting. Consequently, we ran out of food. I blame you entirely.
5. I’m not positive where you were raised but it is customary in corporate culture not to drink alcohol during the work day. Yes, I’m aware it is five o’clock somewhere but not here. It’s central time and we’ve still got an hour. Which would give us plenty of time to set the bar up properly and serve you in a respectable manner. Because clearly, you are someone who deserves respect as was displayed during the presentation leading me to point #6.
6. If at all possible, please try to keep your cell phone calls down to a minimum during the COO’s presentation. I realize you are important. I am also aware you stood in the back of the room near the food in a not-so-sly attempt to continually eat and drink during the presentation but also so you could take said phone calls as needed. Unless your title is also three little letters like CFO or CEO, you should probably keep your attention focused on the highest ranking company official in the room. One who, I might add, took two days to come down to our offices from corporate leaving his own work piling up and staying away from his family, just to spend some time with the employees.
Thank you and I trust the next time you are attending a corporate event you will keep these guidelines in mind. Now I just have to figure out how to better plan the next event so this doesn’t happen again. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave them for me.
How about a designated "hand slapper"? If mama hasn't taught them these things by now I think more aggressive action is in order. Love you, I know you did your best to correct the situation. Martha
ReplyDeleteMaybe next time you could use two adjacent rooms? That way the one with all the food/drinks set up can be protected until the presentation portion next door has dismissed.
ReplyDeleteI can picture it all so clearly including the faces of some of those people....
ReplyDeleteI can see this too. It reminds me of the wedding reception at the park for you know. Your brother asked if he could get something to eat. Because he was 15 and everyone else was eating. I told him no just because everyone else is using bad manners doesn't mean we do! Although it seems no one at your office party was using good manners. Mom :)
ReplyDelete