Our Grateful Life

“I just don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.”

In the coming months, I’ll be hosting a lecture series entitled: “How NOT to Handle Stress”. I will cover a broad range of topics including:

“Digestive Disorders: Avoiding Ulcers 101”

“Massages Are Mandatory”

“Career Selection: The Stress You Haven’t Considered”.

In addition, there will be various guest speakers including Mrs. Fanny Pack who will be hosting a special series on avoidance entitled, “Honey, Where’d You Put My Box of Issues?”

My expertise is extensive. Over the years I’ve had numerous stomach and digestive issues, a nagging hamstring injury, irregular heartbeat and heart palpitations, psoriasis and additional random things I’ll spare you. I’ve sought help from a myriad of specialists and people who just didn’t realize the basket case hiding underneath the tailored suit: a general doctor, ob/gyn, dentist, ENT, cardiologist, internist and even a counselor (really, a therapist, but don’t you think “counselor” sounds less crazy?). References are available upon request.

In almost every case, I can pinpoint exactly what was going on with me to cause these physical aliments. Some of it I had a great deal of control over and some of it I didn’t. And even more fun were the times when I didn’t even feel stressed necessarily but the latest, greatest physical ailment would arise and poof! I’m aware.

Regardless, there is a blessing in having something force you to deal with what’s happening in your life. Sure, you can avoid it. Tuck it away and try to forget it. You can even devise a zillion ways to manage it. Diet, acupuncture, long baths, extra-marital affairs, exercise, sleep, food (most specifically chocolate), procrastination, drugs, therapy, alcohol or even extreme adventures (at least that’s the only reason I imagine people willingly jump out of airplanes). But I promise it will not go away and likely, while you’re trying some (hopefully not all) of those remedies, you might seriously injure your body in the process.

None of us has yet to figure all of this out but hopefully the Lord will give us decades more to keep working on it. He’ll be patient with us just like He has always been and we’ll likely keep having to relearn the same lesson: rely on Him more and worry less.

So really, I should add a class to the syllabus: “Each Day Has Enough Trouble of It’s Own: Do Not Worry About Tomorrow”. I think someone already said something along those same lines but it’s worth repeating don’t you think?