Gratitude Friday...

So you remember in "Friends" when Ross says Rachel's name during his wedding ceremony to Emily and he agrees (with Rachel's encouragement) to do whatever Emily asks to win her back?  And that "whatever" included never seeing Rachel (clearly) and moving across town?  Which forced Ross to spend 45 minutes one way on the train to get to work?  And in a moment of revelation, he declares, "I've been given the gift of time!"?

Yeah.  

We have also been given the gift of time.

(And if you have no idea who Ross, Rachel and Emily are nor anything about the tragic wedding in a crumbling church in England, then you have my deepest sympathy.)  

(You were obviously not a college student glued to a TV set near you every Thursday night.  Because this was before DVR's, Dear Ones, and VHS machines and the tapes weren't cheap.  Not when that money could buy you a week's worth of questionable tacos at Taco Bell.)  

(Priorities.)

We knew moving out here we would still be driving back to take Aubrey Kate to school every day.  It's just one year.  And the benefits of keeping her there far outweighed the increase in the gas budget.  

Every morning, we load up the car between 8 and 8:10 am and head on down the road back to where we deliberately left.  The trip can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 45 depending on how fast the dump truck we get stuck behind is moving.  

The road is being widened from two lanes to four and, although I know nothing for certain, I feel relatively confident the road will be completed five minutes after Aubrey Kate's last day of Kindergarten.  

Some mornings, the children are shooting questions at me in rapid succession.  So much so that by the time I have dropped at least one child off, I feel often like was the loser in a water balloon fight.  

Other mornings, the kids are content to listen to music and eat.  Because 45 minutes without a snack is simply too much to ask of a child.

This week, though, our church released it's new worship album.  We always snatch those things up and start playing them on repeat so we can learn every word.  Every. Word.  Words are powerful for me.  I need those words memorized.  Need.  

I do the same thing with any new song introduced.  I buy so I can memorize.  I have an entire playlist, Worship, for those songs.  

Anyway, during our Gift of Time, I asked the kids if they wanted to listen to the new "Valley Creek Music."

"YEAH!"

And we did.

The first morning, the kids listened while I sang along to a few of the ones we've been singing for months.  Occasionally, they would lob a question my way but mostly they listened too.

That afternoon, "I Have Decided" came on.  From the back of the car, Aubrey Kate yells, 

"WE SING THIS IN CHURCH TOO!"

The kids have a time of worship in their class.  I knew they were singing the songs but so far, she hadn't recognized them.  At least she hadn't told me she had.

There we are.  Driving.  I'm singing along.  My daughter is singing along.  And God says to me, "It's her 'I Have Decided.'"

I've written before about the first song I remember memorizing in church being "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus."  The lyrics of that hymn are so simple and yet, so challenging.  I vividly remember being on my swing set in our backyard on Hatcher Street in Montgomery, Alabama and singing that hymn.  So proud I had memorized a song we sang in Big Church.  

As I've been processing both my "I Have Decided" and Aubrey Kate's "I Have Decided," God's been leading me through a musical faith journey of sorts.  Y'all know I love my praise and worship runs.  God often speaks to me when I'm running.  I've been known to raise my hands or even jump off the treadmill to have a good cry.  

He's spent the last two runs walking me back through my journey.  Our Only God stories.  Our testimonies.  My runs this week have been powerful and meaningful.  Not all runs are but, heavens, God showed up this week.

Listening to Him remind me of the music that has shaped my life.  Music that can almost transport me back to a specific time.  Music that evokes such power and reverence over my own life...  

It's good stuff, y'all.

From the beginning, it was "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus."  But then there was, "Victory in Jesus."  And, sweet mercy, my Grandmother was joyful singing it but it was mostly noise to those around her.  My mom loves that hymn too.  Dad has always loved, "Beulah Land."  He cries every time he hears it.  Along with, "He's Alive," which was an Easter morning staple at our place.  

I weep at "Jesus Paid it All."  And "Blessed Assurance" is still stunning.  "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" has such a powerful message.  One I never appreciated as a child.  

Those songs created a foundation.  A theology.  The words to my belief in Jesus and about Jesus.  

And I am grateful.

As as 90's teenager, I was blessed (???) with such beauties as "Awesome God" and "My Father's House," to which I still know all the hand motions.  There was Amy Grant and Twila Paris and Petra. But truthfully, those did not stick.  DC Talk stuck.  Some.  Steven Curtis Chapman stuck.  Some.

It wasn't until we started trying to build our family when God started reaching me with music.

"God of Wonders" (Lord of eggies and sperm.)

"Praise You in This Storm"

"The Revolution Song"

Those are the songs playing over my life when God reached down and grabbed me from the back of that dark closet as I was crying into a pillow.  I just about can't hear "The Revolution Song" without crying.  I can't.

Aubrey Kate doesn't know it yet, but those songs are the beginning of her faith legacy.  She is and was the much prayed for child.  The little girl we had been dreaming of since before we got married.  

But from there, she will find her own musical journey.  

I can tell you the "Up, Up Song" (aka, "Let It Be Known") is on that list.  My stars.  I'm okay letting that song go but my children still adore it.  

And now, our new "I Have Decided" will be hers.  

The songs we play.  The words we memorize.  These are things written on our hearts.  They can be things of truth and goodness and God's holiness or they can be things of this world, meant to destroy us.  I'm not going to hide the world from my children.  I couldn't even if I wanted to.  But they will learn it soon enough without my help.  

Until then, and it's such a short "then," I want to be certain the words being written on their hearts will establish a faith in God as awesome and good and eternal.

"I have decided Who I will follow

I have decided to step out in faith

Not looking back on the world behind me

I'm overwhelmed by Your saving grace

"Your love is beautiful

Your love is all I desire

And You are good to me

And I will taste and see

"How awesome and mighty are You

Forever Your glory will reign

I am Yours

I am forever Yours

"I have a new life in you, Jesus

You came and set this captive free

I have a fire and I can't contain it

And it will burn for all eternity

"Your grace is overwhelming

Your love is overtaking

Your heart is all consuming

I am Yours forever!"

Lord, thank you for speaking.  Thank you for the music you have given me.  Thank you for the truth of those words.  Thank you for the love of music you have given my children.  Thank you for a worshiping church.  Thank you for giving them songs.  Thank you for  speaking about my daughter's faith journey.  Thank you for allowing her song and all the other songs to be part of our daily lives.  Thank you for the Gift of Time and for using it for Your glory.  We are grateful, Lord.